Realizations
by Missfortune
Summary: A strange event causes Hiead to start watching Zero more closely. Something is not right and Hiead is getting suspicious. Mild shonen ai and abuse. Rating has gone up due to the intensity of the story.
1. Vow

Vow   
By: Missfortune   
Disclaimer: I don't own the cuties, someone else does.   
Warnings: A/Uish   
Notes: I'm playing around with a few ideas, we'll see what develops.   
  
~*~  
  
"Please," Zero whimpered in his sleep. If one hadn't been listening closely it would have been missed. But some noise had awoken Hiead, and he was listening carefully in the darkness. "Please no," the usually cocky candidate pleaded in a frightened voice. Hiead glared through the blackness of the room. He needed his sleep, not to listen to the nightmares of fools. He was about to wake up the noisy boy when Zero screamed. Such a noise Hiead had never heard. The hair on is neck rose at the sound of agony ripped from the other candidate's throat. He was frozen in his bed, listening to the scream go on and on. Finally, it died off into a pathetic little whimper followed by sharp sobs.   
  
Hiead sat in his bed, wondering what to make of the situation. He wasn't overly fond of his roommate, but the other boy sounded terrified. He had never been good with human contact, especially comfort, but he couldn't really let the cries continue, they'd keep him up all night. Slipping silently from his bed he crossed the room to where Zero was huddled miserably beneath his blankets. Hesitantly he reached out to touch the crying boy's shoulder.   
  
"Zero?"   
  
Zero gasped and froze.   
  
"Zero, what is wrong with you?"   
  
The normally outspoken candidate was completely silent and Hiead wasn't even sure if he was still breathing he was so still. It was odd that the vivacious boy was so subdued and quiet. Something was definitely wrong.   
  
"Zero, if you do not tell me what is wrong then I shall be forced to report this incident to Instructor Azuma."   
  
The response was immediate. "No!" Zero cried reaching out and grasping Hiead's hand.   
  
Hiead tried to make out the other boy's face through the darkness of the room to no avail. He couldn't see the boy, but he could feel his hand trembling on his own. That was highly unusual.   
  
"Please no," Zero said in a quieter tone.   
  
"Why not?" He heard Zero's breathe hitch but he didn't answer the question. Hiead waited impatiently. "Well? Answer quickly."   
  
"I-I can't tell you," came the whispered response.   
  
"Why not?" Hiead asked once more.   
  
"I can't tell. Can't ever tell." Zero said softly, and Hiead could hear the tears in his voice. This confused him. Zero was crying.   
  
"Why are you crying? You don't want me to show that you are a bad pilot candidate? You don't want them to know that you cry out in the night?" Hiead demanded.   
  
"No. No, that is not it."   
  
"Then what is it?" Hiead asked impatiently.   
  
Despite the darkness, Hiead felt Zero's eyes on him. It was as if the other boy was looking into his soul. He blinked as he heard the other boy speak. "Hopefully, you will never know," Zero said solemnly. Hiead stood, with his hand still held in Zero's, staring at the darkness that he knew to be the other boy's face. "Go back to bed," Zero said softly. "This never happened."   
  
Strangely, Hiead did not argue. He turned to walk back to his own bed. Zero's hand slipped off of his, almost reluctantly. Disturbed, he climbed back into his bed and settled down to continue his interrupted rest. He listened to the silence that once more fell over the room. And in it he heard a whisper.   
  
"You will never know. None of you will ever know, I swear it."   
  
It was then that Hiead made his vow to find out.   
  
~*~  
  
Feedback is most welcome ^_^ 


	2. Suspicion

Suspicion   
Sequel to Vow   
By: Missfortune   
Disclaimer: I don't own the cuties, someone else does.   
Warnings: A/Uish   
Notes: Hmm, this is getting interesting.   
  
~*~  
  
"88! I will see you in my quarters. Now!" Instructor Azuma yelled.   
  
Hiead smirked. Zero was to be punished again. It served the loud boy right. He never shut up. He was always in the way. He was a threat and now he was getting what he deserved.   
  
"88! Did you hear me?" Azuma demanded.   
  
Hiead turned, fully prepared to shoot Zero a victorious smirk. He stopped, confused. Zero was staring at Azuma in horror, visibly shaking. Immediately, that strange night a week before came to his mind. He'd nearly forgotten being awoken by Zero's scream. But the look in Zero's eyes, it was probably identical to the one in the darkness. Sharp eyes narrowed. Something was going on. He opened his mouth to question the boy, only to be interrupted by Instructor Azuma grabbing Zero and dragging him from the room. Their eyes met as the door slid shut and fingers of ice dragged down Hiead's spine.   
  
"Interesting," Clay commented quietly, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.   
  
"Oooh! Zero's gonna get it now," Roose said shaking his head.   
  
"Yeah, Azuma must be really mad," Yagami added.   
  
"I suppose that we are free to go," Clay commented, not looking very pleased about it. The other two high-fived and quickly dispersed, leaving Hiead and Clay alone in the room. Hiead turned towards the bespectacled boy. He was an observer of people. His EX reactions came most frequently while he was making observations. From the sour expression on his face, Hiead decided that he knew more than he was letting on.   
  
"Talk," Hiead ordered.   
  
"Excuse me?"   
  
Hiead turned to the other boy. "I said, talk. You know what is happening. Tell me or else."   
  
"I don't know what you're talking about," Clay retorted, too defensively for Hiead's tastes.   
  
He grabbed Clay's shoulders and shoved him up against the nearest wall. Clay coughed weakly as Hiead pressed him against the hard metal. "Now, we can do this two ways. There is a hard way, and there is an easy way. Which do you prefer?"   
  
"I don't know anything," Clay retorted.   
  
Hiead narrowed his eyes and shoved harder, knocking Clay's head against the wall. "You suspect something then. Tell me. What is your theory?" Clay's lips were sealed into a thin line, his eyes defiant. "For someone who is so weak in battle, your will is strong." Clay's head tilted in acknowledgment of the statement. "But you will talk," Hiead informed him just before his fist buried itself in Clay's stomach. The other candidate fell to his knees as Hiead stepped back. He coughed, one hand wrapped around his stomach, cradling the spot that was sure to bruise.   
  
"Why this sudden fascination with Zero?" Clay forced out between gritted teeth as he stood unsteadily.   
  
"He is my rival, I must know his weaknesses." Hiead replied coldly.   
  
"Then my answer to you is no. Even if I told you, you wouldn't care." Clay shook his head and began to walk away.   
  
"What do you mean?" Hiead demanded rushing to grab Clay. Clay surprised him by quickly turning and grabbing his hands, holding them away from his body.   
  
"If you care to know, watch. Look what is done. Hear what is said. Observe what happens. If you care to know, you will know." He let Hiead's hands drop and quickly left the room.   
  
Hiead stood, watching the door where the other candidate had exited. If he cared to know. In other words, if he cared about Zero. But he didn't. Not really, he just wanted to know. What was the thing that put that fear in the boy's eyes? Something was happening. Something that needed to be seen. Something that he had vowed to find out. He would do as Clay said and he would watch. And he would know.   
  
~*~  
  
Feedback is most appreciated thank you. 


	3. Discovery

Discovery   
By: Missfortune   
Disclaimer: I don't own the cuties, someone else does.   
Warnings: A/Uish   
Dedication: For Ditto who's been waiting ever so patiently. Hopefully things come clear for you ^_^   
Notes: Don't worry, this won't become graphic, but the implications are bad enough O_o   
  
~*~  
  
Hiead stared across the table at Zero. The other boy shifted and looked away. Clay coughed lightly but other than that, silence hung heavy in the air. The rest of the candidates were watching the pair, just waiting for them to explode into violence as usual. Even Kizna was unwilling to break the tension between the two boys with cheerful words.   
  
The situation had been building for days now. Hiead seemed to be watching Zero like a hawk for no reason that most of the candidates could discern. Slowly but surely, the attention was getting to Zero, but rather than confront him as expected, Zero seemed to be shrinking away from Hiead's sharp eyes. Perhaps it was their intense scrutiny of Hiead's strange behavior that averted their notice from the haunted look in Zero's eyes. Whatever it was, Zero was both grateful for the distraction at the same time that he was terrified of Hiead's attention.   
  
Zero stared at his plate as he mechanically shoveled food into his mouth, chewing and swallowing without even tasting the food he ate. At that point he could have eaten his napkin and not even noticed the difference. Clay adjusted his glasses and glanced across at Hiead, who flicked a glance in his direction and frowned. Clay frowned back and the silence stretched on.   
  
Surprisingly, it was Ikhny who broke the silence with a shy little cough. "Kizna, would you like to go to the recreation room with me after dinner? I want to practice that game you taught me."   
  
Kizna smiled. "Sure! I'm happy you like it! I'm finished dinner. Do you want to go now?"   
  
Ikhny nodded and made a small affirmative noise. Kizna smiled and stood up. "Zero! I'll catch up with you later. Bye!" She waved as she and Ikhny walked off leaving the boys to their own devices.   
  
Zero seemed to shrink in on himself more as he felt both Clay and Hiead's eyes fall back onto himself. Suddenly his head popped up like he was submerging from underwater. He took a deep breath before practically shouting, "Well! Will you look at the time! I have somewhere to be and it is very important that I be there. Yes it is. So I will see you later. Very very later. Thank you for dinner. Goodbye!" Zero practically sprinted out of the cafeteria leaving a flurry of murmurs in his wake.   
  
Hiead looked at Clay. The bespectacled boy frowned as he watched the door that Zero had dashed through. Wordlessly Hiead got up and left. Clay adjusted his glasses against the bright lights of the cafeteria.   
  
"Interesting," he murmured. "Very interesting."   
  
~*~  
  
Hiead walked silently through the halls like a tiger hunting down its prey. In all truth he was stalking down prey. Zero. He had been searching for over an hour for the suddenly elusive candidate. Always before you could hear Zero, practically feel his energetic presence no matter where he was. But now, now things were strange. Now Zero moved around in silence, like a shadow. Even Ikhny wasn't as quiet as Zero had become. If that wasn't strange enough, he was also incredibly jumpy, always seeming to look over his shoulder, and always alarmed when he found Hiead staring back at him.   
  
He wasn't obsessed per se, more infatuated, puzzled by the sudden mystery that Zero presented and determined to solve it. However, he still couldn't quite fathom the problem. He was certain that Instructor Azuma played some crucial role, but the possibilities that filtered through his mind were so absurd that he dismissed them offhand. Surely if Azuma were such a person he would not be training Goddess Pilots. No person in their right mind would trust the future of Zion to such a man. Would they?   
  
Shaking his head in annoyance, Hiead slipped into the closest observatory. He froze in the doorway. Zero was huddled in front of one of the large windows, staring at his knees. Azuma stood with his back to Hiead, seemingly staring into space.   
  
"It's your own fault you realize," Azuma said conversationally. "If you would only behave, I wouldn't have to punish you. You see, we cannot trust Zion to just anybody. You must have discipline."   
  
Zero continued to stare at his knees, but Hiead could see him shaking against the cold background of space. Azuma walked up to Zero, reaching out and taking his chin in hand, making Zero look up at him. Zero's eyes were terrified, his whole face a pale mask of fear. Azuma stroked Zero's cheek tenderly before suddenly slapping him. Zero's head whipped to the side, but the boy made no noise.   
  
"Good," Azuma rumbled. "You are making progress. You see Zero, with discipline, I will make you the greatest Pilot ever." Hiead watched in horror as Azuma slowly began to unzip Zero's uniform and insinuate his hand under the cloth. Stumbling back, Hiead's eyes blinked rapidly. The door slid shut noiselessly leaving the rest of the act unseen. But it had been enough. Hiead stood staring at the door in disbelief. That was not a man in there. That was a monster. A monster in charge of the future of Zion!   
  
~*~  
  
Feedback is most welcome ^_^ The more I receive, the more encouraged I am to write! 


	4. Choice

Choice   
By: Missfortune   
Disclaimer: I don't own the cuties, someone else does.   
Warnings: A/U, References to sexual and physical abuse.  
Notes: Sorry for the dealy, I've been computer-less for two weeks, but now I'm back with more.   
  
~*~  
  
Hiead stared at the door of the bathroom. Inside the shower was running as it had been doing for some time. Hiead had been sitting in the room he shared with Zero, thinking. He'd been trying to come up with some solution to the problem that had been presented to him. Azuma was taking advantage of Zero. Using him. Abusing him. Breaking him.   
  
It wasn't that he hadn't seen the situation before. The sad truth was that he'd seen it many times, more times than he'd have liked. And he knew how he'd have previously handled the problem. At one time a person such as Azuma would have met with a quite painful early death, but now they were in the closely guarded confines of G.O.A. There simply was no way to pull off such a feat without serious repercussions. Any action he took would be detected and ruin his chances of ever being a pilot.   
  
It was true that Zero was his rival, almost his enemy except that they were on the same team, the team of humanity. But what was happening to Zero was something he would not wish even on an enemy. Nobody deserved such a treatment, especially not the annoyingly cheerful and surprisingly skillful Zero. The boy was a victim, just like any other, and as such he needed help, which Hiead was unsure how to supply. It was at that point in his thoughts that Zero had walked in, heading in a fairly straight line for the bathroom. The shower had come on shortly after and continued to run for an abnormally long amount of time.   
  
Hiead was nearing the point where he wondered if Zero had perhaps drowned himself when the water finally turned off. Hiead waited expecting Zero to walk out in a towel, leaving his dirty clothes sitting in a massive puddle as he usually did. He watched as the door slid open just a crack and Zero's face peered out. Wide blue eyes searched the room and landed on Hiead. Licking his lips, Zero looked down at the floor and coughed.   
  
"Hiead..." he began.   
  
"Zero."   
  
"C-could you...um, please could you bring me some night clothes please?" Zero asked softly, still looking at the floor. Hiead's eyebrows went up and Zero fidgeted. "Please?" he repeated in a whisper.   
  
Zero had never been shy or embarrassed of his body before, but then again that was before. Wordlessly, Hiead got up and went to Zero's closet. He pulled out the clothes that the other boy would require and brought them over to Zero, who hesitantly stuck out an arm to retrieve them. As soon as the clothes were inside, the door slid swiftly shut.   
  
Hiead stood for a moment, looking at the door. Promptly he turned and walked back to his bed. He sat down and waited for Zero to emerge, which he did at length. Hiead watched as Zero essentially crept out of the bathroom dressed in a gray sleep shirt and matching shorts. He didn't look up as he made his way to his bed. He simply turned back the sheets and climbed in. Covering his head with the sheets he curled into a tight ball.   
  
Hiead frowned. How had he missed the signs? His single-mindedness had blinded him to the events happening around him. At one time he would have been aware of all of the goings on of his surroundings, it was required in order to stay alive. He'd slacked off, thinking that of all places G.O.A. would be safe. He'd been wrong and now Zero was paying the price for him letting down his guard. There was no way that he could allow it to continue. Thinking the problem over and over was not bearing any solutions though. He needed a fresh angle on the subject and knew just where to get it.   
  
Getting up he slipped from the room and walked down a few doors. He marched right into one of the rooms without knocking, startling the occupants. Yamagi and Roose were sprawled across a bunk looking at a colorful sheaf of papers. Clay was sitting at a desk staring intently at a data pad until Hiead's interruption. Hiead marched over and pulled him out of his chair and began to lead him out of the room again.   
  
Clay looked at his roommates with pleading eyes as he was dragged through the doorway. Yamagi and Roose shook their heads. There was no way that they were going to interfere with Hiead as long as he wasn't hurting anybody. Clay shot them a betrayed glance before the door slid shut and he was pulled down the hall. Clay babbled nervously as Hiead silently led him by the elbow. He pulled the rambling boy into an empty observation deck. He turned and pinned him with his eyes. Clay froze mid-sentence.   
  
"I know." Hiead stated.   
  
Clay did not even pretend to misunderstand. "So, it was as I thought. Instructor Azuma is hitting Zero. Beating would be a more proper word I suppose."   
  
"Worse."   
  
Clay stiffened at the flatly spoken word. "W-worse?" his voice cracked on the question.   
  
"Apparently the Instructor has an unhealthy interest in young boys." Hiead stared at Clay, watching for his reaction. He was a little surprised when the other candidate collapsed to his knees.   
  
"Oh Goddess," Clay whispered. "It is worse than I suspected."   
  
"We can't kill him. What do you propose?" Hiead walked to the window and stared into space.   
  
Clay was silent for a while, apparently running the problem through his sharp mind. After some time, he finally rose to his feet and walked over to join Hiead looking out into space.   
  
"There's only one thing we can do. Report him. A dishonorable discharge and jail will most certainly follow."   
  
Hiead snorted. "That's too good for him."   
  
"I know, but it's all that we can do. As much as I'd like to see you shove him out an air lock, its too risky. The sooner we report him, the sooner we stop him."   
  
"Then let's not waste time." Hiead turned away from the window. Clay nodded and they left the room to carry out the task as swiftly as possible.   
  
~*~  
  
Feedback is always welcome!! ^_^ 


	5. Voice

Voice   
By: Missfortune   
Disclaimer: I don't own the cuties, such a shame. Probably better for their health though O_o  
Warnings: A/U, rape/abuse references   
Notes: Note: I was unsure of rankings at G.O.A. so I used the Army ranking system. Though now that I think about it air force or navy might have been better.   
  
~*~  
  
"Those are some serious accusations that you're making." Behind a desk a very powerful man at G.O.A. steepled his fingers. Hiead and Clay nodded solemnly. This was the fourth officer they'd talked to, and so far he was the highest ranked. It appeared that despite Azuma's role as a teacher at G.O.A. he was also a very highly placed and powerful man.   
  
"We fully realize this sir, but we would not make them if we were not certain of their truth. As much as we would wish otherwise, Azuma is hurting one of our friends." Clay said boldly. Hiead nodded, impressed by the way Clay was handling the situation. He may not be any good in battle but his mind was sharp, he might even go so far as to say that Clay's mind could be deadly if he so wished. Their dealings with all of the officers had been smooth and diplomatic and had given Hiead new kind of respect for Clay.   
  
Colonel Tezuka looked down at the files spread out on his desk. This Clay Cliff Fortran seemed to be on good terms with the Enna boy. Hiead Gner however, was another story. The boy appeared to have a very competitive nature coupled with a violent streak and the focus of his almost obsessive nature was focused quite heavily on Enna. The fact that he had come forward was interesting. There had been times in the past when competitive candidates had kept secrets, some with fatal consequences, all to get rid of their competition. But there was a fierce sincerity in the boy's eyes. That above all else convinced Tezuka that actions should be taken immediately.   
  
The Colonel looked at both boys. Their faces, no matter how they tried to mask them, clearly showed their anxiety, the hope that he would take action. He inclined his head slightly and they both stiffened. "I applaud your honor in coming forward with this matter. We shall have this looked into immediately."   
  
Clay nodded, but Hiead shook his head. "Unacceptable."   
  
Tezuka raised an eyebrow and looked at Hiead. "Excuse me?"   
  
"That is unacceptable. We came to you precisely so that you would take action in this matter, not so you could have it looked into. If this matter is not taken care of, I will take care of it myself." Hiead informed the Colonel with such certainty, that the man had to suppress an icy shiver that ran up his spine. What had happened in this child's past to give him such a deadly edge? More importantly, what was he capable of and was he a threat? Looking at the boy's hard crimson eyes, he knew that action had to be taken, to protect the accused just as much as to protect the victim.   
  
"I will overlook this trespass in protocol this once Candidate. But do not forget your place. I am the higher up here. I will have this matter taken care of. The Instructor will be handled appropriately. Should you decide to take this matter into your own hands, I will not be able to look the other way. Are you willing to take such a risk just to mouth off to me?"   
  
"If it will take a man like Azuma off of G.O.A., yes I am." Hiead stared at the Colonel, iron in his voice. He said it with such deadly certainty. Clay shivered. He had always known that Hiead had a dangerous side. He had no idea that it was attached to such a fierce protective side. To sacrifice his whole future, just to get rid of Azuma, for a boy that he could barely tolerate. Hiead was far more honorable than anybody had given him credit for.   
  
Clay noted the shocked expression of the Colonel and allowed a tiny smile. Apparently he was not the only one surprised by Hiead's actions. All information on the boy seemed to hint towards a more sinister course of action for Hiead. But here he stood, defying their logic, defying them. And for what? What was it that drove him? It was a challenge really. One that Clay hoped that he could someday figure out.   
  
Colonel Tezuka nodded, trying not to let on how completely dumbfounded he felt. This boy was truly an enigma, but not one without virtue. He had obviously been misjudged, and if he kept on with the same determination and amazing sense of honor that he now showed, he would inevitably make an excellent Goddess pilot. "You are incredibly impudent. I should find some punishment for you. But you are also incredibly...what? Stubborn? Loyal? Protective? Stupid? Brave? I don't know, but whatever you are, it is admirable. But believe me when I say that this matter will be looked into, it will." The Colonel pushed a button on his desk.   
  
"Yes Colonel?"   
  
"Private. Please have a security force sent to fetch Instructor Hijikata Azuma. Have him brought to my quarters immediately."   
  
"Yes sir. Right away sir."   
  
"Very good." The Colonel turned back to the boys. "Is that good enough for you Mr. Gner?"   
  
"It will not be good enough until Azuma gets what he deserves." Hiead replied. It would not be good enough until there was justice. Even if he had to deliver it himself.   
  
~*~  
  
Feedback is most welcome ^_^ 


	6. Obstruct

Obstruct   
By: Missfortune   
Disclaimer: I don't own the cuties, someone else does.   
Warnings: A/U   
Notes: I am so so SO sorry for the wait! It's just that I've been busy lately and, do you know how hard it is to get into an irrational person's head? I changed this part so many times before I was satisfied with these results. So I'm crossing my fingers and hoping that you think it was worth the wait. Please enjoy.  
  
Another thing to note, due to all these interesting changes on fanfiction.net, I will no longer post here, it's just getting to unreliable and restrictive, so in the future, if you wish to find me, I am always at my fanfiction site For-Chan Cookies - http://cookies.forchan.net  
  
So feel free to visit me there and look at some of my other stories and my friends' as well. Now, on with the fic!  
~*~  
Zero awoke to an empty room. He was still damp from his shower and shivering despite the regulated temperature in the room. It was another of those dreams, the ones that had lately been waking his roommate. He could barely remember them. There was just a vague memory of silhouettes, but it wasn't the visions that woke him. It was the feelings. The feeling of utter terror. The pain that throbbed throughout his body. It was those things that yanked him from rest with a terrified scream halfway out of his throat. It was those dreams that left him shuddering and sweating and chilled to his very soul. It was those dreams that plagued him, that kind that woke him up to either inquisitive red eyes or empty rooms.   
  
Lately, Hiead had been unnerving him by his sudden interest. Zero often fought back hysterical fits as he found himself under the scrutiny of his roommate. At last count Hiead had hated him but suddenly it was as if the air that he breathed was interesting to Hiead. Could it be...did he suspect? Or was it something else? He wasn't sure what scared him more, the thought of him knowing, or the thought of him actually taking some strange interest. It was all a mystery. Everything about Hiead was a mystery. Like his whereabouts. Zero again looked around the empty room, feeling quite unnerved to be left alone in the room.   
  
Watching the shadows warily, Zero got out of bed. He was halfway to the bathroom when he heard the door slide open. He was almost turned around when a strong hand clamped over his mouth and pulled him back into a hard chest.   
  
"If you make a sound, I'll break your neck." Hot breath burned his neck as the threat was issued. There was no doubt in his mind who was standing behind him, even if his harsh words hadn't given him away, Zero would have known the clammy feel of Azuma's callused hands anywhere. That same feel haunted his dreams, sent shivers down his spine when he least expected, and not in a good way. They made him feel dirty. They were to be feared, and right now, he was scared out of his mind. Azuma had hurt him many times before, but he'd never threatened his life.   
  
Azuma dragged him over to the nearest bed and threw him down on it, quickly coming behind and straddling Zero's much smaller body, making it hard for Zero to breathe properly. He wheezed, taking a shuddering gasp of air and instantly recognizing Hiead's scent on the sheets. He breathed again, using the familiar scent to calm himself rather than struggling uselessly with the larger and stronger man. His heart raced as he fought to stay calm. Why was he here? He'd never risked coming to his room before. What had changed?   
  
"You told," Azuma hissed. "You told didn't you." He pressed Zero down into the bed.   
  
Zero struggled, trying not to allow his face to be pressed completely in the mattress. "No!"   
  
"You told. They've come for me. But don't you worry, I took care of them. Now we have time. Time for me to teach you the price." Zero turned his head to see the instructor's fist fly towards his head. There was a flash of darkness mixed with pain so sharp his body was frozen in shock before a cloud of white swallowed him whole.   
  
~*~  
  
Hiead sat completely still in his chair, eyes fixed firmly on Colonel Tezuka in an intense staring match. Clay fidgeted in his seat, trying not to look at the Colonel or Hiead. He was feeling very uncomfortable in the silence. He just wanted something to happen to end the tension that he felt buzzing in his head. What happened was not what he expected.   
  
One minute Hiead was staring down the Colonel. The next minute, he was on his feet. With an angry roar he disappeared in an astonishingly bright flash of EX energy. Clay blinked and looked up at the Colonel who looked quite surprised himself. They were drawn from their shock by a sharp buzz.   
  
"Colonel! Instructor Azuma has slipped his guard. We have security forces sweeping the halls. Orders sir?"   
  
Tezuka jumped out of his chair, reaching the same conclusion that was making Clay's face pale. "Send a team to the freshmen candidates' hall immediately! I want Candidate 88 in my offices and under guard now! Search all rooms and observation rooms. I want Azuma found!"   
  
~*~  
  
"Azuma!"   
  
Azuma's head shot up. He turned from the console he'd been adjusting, eyes wild as he spotted Hiead.   
  
"Where is Zero?" the boy demanded, stalking slowly towards the older man.   
  
An out of place grin slid onto Azuma's sweating face. "I am teaching him a lesson Candidate."   
  
"What have you done with him?" Hiead snarled. He moved closer to the instructor, watching warily as he pressed a flashing button on the console.   
  
A calm mechanical voice filled the air, sounding completely emotionless, but managing to send chills down Hiead's spine. "Pod launched."   
  
"No!"   
  
"He'll learn his lesson now," Azuma panted, watching as the small funeral pod passed the view port. "He'll learn to pilot that craft to the end of the stars. He'll learn not to disobey."   
  
"Monster!" Hiead yelled, leaping towards the crazed instructor. Azuma struck out, deflecting Hiead's blow. They grappled for a moment before Azuma used his superior weight to throw the boy away from him. Hiead crouched low in a defensive position. As Azuma stalked towards him, a wave of disorientation swept over Hiead. He closed his eyes and fought sudden nausea. "Zero." The whisper fell from his lips before Azuma struck. Hiead's eyes opened, focusing on the instructor. A flair of EX stopped the man in his tracks.   
  
Azuma's eyes widened as he was completely frozen by the boy's power. If he could have moved, he would have trembled in fear of the angel of hell standing before him with eyes blazing like fire and glowing hair flowing like a halo around his head. He was suddenly like a small helpless animal staring down a deadly predator. Eye contact was broken when a surge of power sent Azuma flying back into a wall. He slid down in a heap, eyes still staring, terrified at the glowing boy.   
  
Another wave of terror attempted to overtake Hiead, and he knew, even as he fought it down, that it came from Zero, trapped inside the tiny funeral capsule, watching the space that terrified him so, fly by. With his EX he reached towards the other boy, sending comfort, holding onto his being. Concentrating, he extended himself, sending out his spirit, his heart, wrapping himself around the tattered boy, who scratched bloody fingers at the unyielding plexiglass. He sent warmth, cocooning the boy, before he drew him slowly back, pulling ever so gently until there was a warm body in his arms.   
  
"Zero."   
  
Frightened violet eyes looked up into Hiead's face. "H-Hiead?"   
  
"Yes."   
  
"Are...are you real?" Bleeding fingers reached up to tentatively caress Hiead's cheek.   
  
"Yes. You're safe now Zero. I promise."   
  
~*~  
  
Never fear, tis not the end. I will most certainly continue.  
Feedback is most welcome ^_^ 


	7. Shelter

Shelter   
By: Missfortune   
Disclaimer: I don't own the cuties, someone else does.   
Warnings: A/Uish references to not nice things.   
Notes: I'm trying to keep in character, but the further the story goes, the more they're going to break considering the situations they're facing. At any rate I hope you enjoy and please do send feedback!   
  
Blah, I know I said I wasn't going to post here anymore, but it really is a good forum for getting work seen and reviewd, so though they're majorly stepping on toes, I really do like the fact that you're all reading and leaving comments and so some selected works, such as this one will continue to go up on ff.net. That means, much thanks is in order for the people who have provided feedback, as long as you continue to do so, I'll be more than happy to continue posting. So thank you very very much it really means a lot! This one's for you guys. ^_^  
  
~~~  
  
Hiead sat watch over Zero's motionless body. The boy had not moved for hours. Most of the night had passed since Azuma was caught and Zero was brought to the med lab. It was in the early hours of the morning and still Hiead watched, feeling that it was his duty to be by Zero's side when the boy finally awoke. A large black bruise marred Zero's face along with deep circles under his eyes from too many restless nights. His hands were bandaged, pale white cotton against warm tan skin made for an interesting contrast. Hiead focused on where the bandages stopped and where Zero's skin began, wondering if it was really as delicate as it appeared.   
  
Certainly he and Zero had fought enough that he'd grabbed Zero's wrists on many occasions but he'd never actually taken in the texture of the skin that he'd held tightly in his grasp. Though he was aware that on many occasion he'd been able to leave small finger shaped bruises on the other boy. That particular observation puzzled him, Zero did not bruise easily, but certainly he wasn't impervious to bruising. So how had Azuma done so much damage to the boy without leaving marks? Surely he had left some evidence of his trespasses on the boy.   
  
Probably where nobody could see it or ask questions. That would certainly shed light on all the flinching that Zero had done in recent days. If the boy's repairer touched him, there would be a visible flinch if one was watching closely enough. True, that he could be wary of any touches thanks to Azuma, but most likely it was injuries hidden underneath his uniform.   
  
If only he hadn't let his guard down. He'd stupidly assumed that they didn't have such monsters lurking on G.O.A. If he'd only been more wary, maybe he could have prevented what happened to Zero. As it was, he wasn't sure if the other candidate would ever get to be a pilot due to his fragile mental state. On top of his already existing zero gravity sickness, he'd been sent out into space in a tiny funeral pod. It was enough to shatter even the strongest of men's nerves.   
  
Looking at the sleeping boy in the bed, Hiead wondered, would he ever be able to recover? He hoped so. Otherwise, who would he be able to compete against? Who would push him farther, to be better? But most importantly, who would smile at him despite his own cold attitude? Who would be the one to try and look inside? Zero had to recover and Hiead decided that it would be his mission to make sure that Zero smiled again.   
  
~~~  
  
"Rei."   
  
"Mom?"   
  
"Rei. Wake up."   
  
"Mom! Where are you?"   
  
"Wake up, your friend is waiting for you."   
  
"My friend?"   
  
"Surely you remember Rei. That nice boy Hiead, he's waiting for you."   
  
"Hiead?"   
  
"He's waiting."   
  
"Wait! Mom!"   
  
"I love you Rei."   
  
"MOM!" Zero shot up in bed, looking around wildly. Calm red eyes were the only familiar sight in the unfamiliar room. "Hiead."   
  
"Zero." Hiead inclined his head slightly and stared at Zero expectantly.   
  
Zero looked down at the blanket that covered him and his bandaged hands sitting in his lap. He bit his lip, feeling uncomfortable under Hiead's scrutiny. Hiead watched as the wall of emotions built up in Zero's eyes. Zero closed his eyes, shutting out Hiead's eyes, shutting out that spark of concern that he saw there, shutting it all away. He clenched his hands, feeling an itch at the corner of his eyes and knowing what it was.   
  
Hiead leaned in, seeing the small leak in the dam as the small tears welled up in the corner of Zero's eye. Slowly he reached out a hand to wipe away the brimming tears. As his hand gently brushed across Zero's bruised cheek, the dam gave way, releasing a torrent of tortured emotions. When Zero crumbled, Hiead was there to catch him. He wrapped his arms carefully around the other boy as Zero clutched desperately at him, face buried in his chest, soaking through his uniform.   
  
Hiead wrapped his arms around the boy instinctively, but once they were in that position, he was unsure of what he was supposed to do. Zero shook with hard sobs and eventually Hiead allowed his hand to press into the boy's back and begin to rub softly. Unknowingly, he was making the soft soothing sounds of comfort and he rocked them both slowly, more for his own sake, allowing his mind to slip into a lull as he comforted Zero. Soon Zero's ragged breathing evened out and he had slipped back into an emotionally exhausted sleep. Hiead looked down at his tired face, allowing a hand to brush across a damp cheek. He felt how Zero looked, tired.   
  
He wasn't sure why he was so exhausted. Perhaps it was the stress of the many revelations he'd had today. Or maybe it was simply that everything had been too emotional. He was not used to dealing with emotions. He hid so much behind his cold exterior that the sudden surfacing of his protective nature and honor drained him. Whatever the reason, supporting both Zero and himself became a chore that he didn't have the required strength for. Slowly, he lowered them back onto the bed, never letting Zero leave the circle of his arms. Wondering what on Zion he was doing, he drifted off into a surprisingly peaceful sleep.   
  
~~~  
  
"I can't see anything."   
  
"Ouch, get your elbow out of my rib."   
  
"That's not my elbow."   
  
"Shh, you're being too loud!"   
  
"Ahem." Five sets of guilty eyes looked up to meet the hard stare of Colonel Tezuka. "Exactly what do you think you're doing?"   
  
Clay, Kizna, Yamagi, Roose and Ikhny looked up at the Colonel's imposing figure. Surprisingly, Clay was the first to find his voice.   
  
"We're trying to check on Zero sir."   
  
"Well, I admire your dedication to your friend, but he's been hurt and he needs to recover. When he can have visitors, you will be the first to know. Now, you should all be in your quarters, it is far past lights out. I know your schedule is uncertain for tomorrow, but it is better if you try to adhere to a schedule of some kind simply for order."   
  
The candidates lowered their heads. "Yes Colonel." They chimed simultaneously before giving hasty bows and retreating.   
  
The Colonel allowed himself a small grin at the antics of the young candidates before turning back to the door. It was quite late for him to still be working. In fact, it was so early in the morning that barely a soul, save for the Victim monitoring crew, was awake. This case however, was keeping him up. He was horrified that such a terrible crime had been committed within the confines of G.O.A. It might be a military installation, but it was also a place of learning. This is where they taught young people how to defend the future and to have such an attack occur was unacceptable.   
  
He took a deep breath to calm down before entering the medical bay. He nodded to the single nurse on duty and walked to the small curtained off area that contained Candidate 88, Zero Enna. When he entered the area, he was surprised by what he found. He had known that the other candidate, Hiead Gner was staying by the boy's bedside, but after his meeting with the boy, he was under the impression that Hiead kept his emotions to himself and distanced from others. Yet there he was curled protectively around the injured boy, his body language screaming serious harm to anyone who dared disturb their slumber.   
  
A smile twitched at the corner of his lips. He was certain that if anyone had told Hiead Gner that he had an awfully adorable and cuddly side that they'd be beaten to within an inch of their life, and yet here was that terribly imposing boy acting as a human teddy bear to Zero's comfort seeking embrace. Tezuka quickly left the curtained area, leaving the boys some privacy. Zero probably couldn't be any safer than he was now. Somehow he'd just won himself a position in one of the most secure places on G.O.A. and the Colonel wasn't even foolish enough to try and take that away from him. He mentally applauded the boy for finding his way in and with a few silent wishes for his well being he left, secure in the knowledge that for now, the crisis was taken care of.   
  
~~~  
  
Feedback makes me happy and being happy makes me write more, so please leave some feedback ^_^! 


	8. Waking

Waking   
By: Missfortune   
Disclaimer: I don't own the series, I mean, if I did you could see how the whole thing would go!   
Warnings: A/U, references to not nice things, Angst, and OOC due to the situations.   
Notes: These chapters keep getting longer and longer, as well they should since the story is getting deeper and deeper. I would like to thank everybody for the wonderfully encouraging feedback, and I hope you enjoy! Special thanks to Kira Kumo of the MKML for answering my question!   
  
~*~  
  
Hiead woke up feeling warm. Warmer than he'd been in a long time. His left arm was numb and he shifted, but swiftly froze at the weight in his arms. It struck him that he was in bed with somebody. Slowly, he opened his eyes. The wild brown hair brought the memories flooding back to him of Zero, Azuma, and all that had happened since Zero's first nightmare. The other boy was curled up in his arms with his head resting on Hiead's chest, warm breath ghosting across his neck. Each breath was sending small shivers through Hiead's body and he knew that he had to get out of that bed.   
  
Slowly, he slid his arms back from where they were wrapped firmly around Zero's waist. He bit his lip as his fingers skimmed the soft skin exposed where the pajama shirt had risen. Next, he carefully moved Zero's hands from where they tightly clutched his shoulders. He pried the nearly white knuckles off the fabric of his shirt, rubbing them soothingly so that Zero wouldn't startle and wake up. Then he inched back from Zero, letting the boy roll into the warm indention that he left behind. He watched as Zero snuggled into the warmth, barely stirring, before he rolled off the bed.   
  
Zero sighed, as if sensing his loss. Hiead frowned at how small the boy looked, even in the cramped sterile bed. Without thinking, Hiead reached out and pulled the blankets up around Zero's shoulders. As he tucked the blankets in, he wondered why he'd even bothered to do so. He'd already saved the boy. His obligations to help were over now that Azuma was put safely away where he could no longer hurt anybody.   
  
From there on Zero had a lot of healing that he needed to do, but that was easily accomplished without his help. In fact, Hiead was sure that he would only slow down that process, given that he and Zero were not the best of friends, if they could even be called friends. No, they were still rivals and as soon as Zero was back up to par, Hiead would enjoy taking the wind out of his sails and defeating him once and for all. Nodding decisively, he turned and left the medical bay.   
  
His stomach grumbled at him, reminding that his last meal had been many hours ago. He decided that there was still had time to make it to the cafeteria for the morning meal and so swiftly headed in that direction. The halls were quiet as he trudged down them, fighting off the odd feeling that he'd left something behind. He walked towards the cafeteria listening to the light buzz of conversation. As he walked through the doors, he seemed to hit one of those lulls when all conversation stopped and suddenly found himself the center of attention.   
  
Firmly ignoring the eyes fixed upon him, he collected a few food items before sitting down at a table. He glared at the people that looked like they were going to approach him. After all, the rumor mill had been turning and he was sure that everybody on G.O.A. knew what had taken place the night before. Unfortunately, his glare did not deter Clay and the rest of his classmates. They marched up to him and waited patiently for him to say something. He didn't.   
  
Clay adjusted his glasses. "Well?"   
  
"Well what?" Hiead growled as he viciously bit into a muffin.   
  
"How is Zero?"   
  
"He'll live." Hiead shrugged.   
  
"Baka!" Kizna whacked him on the back of the head, causing him to choke on his muffin. His red eyes widened as he coughed to clear his airway.   
  
"Kizna!" Ikhny exclaimed. She started patting her pilot candidate on the back until his coughing subsided.   
  
"He's being uncooperative." Kizna grumbled.   
  
"But if you kill him, he can't answer our questions." Roose pointed out quietly.   
  
Hiead growled at them. Ignoring the low growl, Clay sat down beside him at the bench. "We know that you stayed with him. The adults aren't talking, we would like to know how Zero is doing."   
  
Hiead grumbled silently. He could ignore Kizna's whining and abuse, but he felt that he owed the calm boy an answer. He looked directly at Clay, ignoring the others as he answered in a low, almost secretive tone. "He was in shock when I rescued him. Azuma had put him in a funeral pod and launched him into space."   
  
"That's terrible!" Roose exclaimed.   
  
Hiead glared at him and Yamagi quickly shushed the boy. Snorting, Hiead continued. "I managed to pull him back and he passed out afterwards from the trauma. His only physical wounds are some bruising and the damage he did to his hands trying to escape from the pod."   
  
"But it's not the physical damage we have to worry about," Clay sighed.   
  
~*~  
  
"Let me out!"   
  
The scream echoed through the medical bay. Quickly, the nurse on duty, rushed in to check on their only current patient, Candidate 88. She stepped forward and touched Zero on the arm as he struggled wildly with the blanket.   
  
"No!" he cried, his voice raw and frightened. "Don't touch me!"   
  
The nurse stepped back, afraid that the boy would hurt himself more in his struggles. She quickly retreated to call the doctor. In a matter of moments Rill strode into the medical bay.   
  
"What's the problem here Yukine?"   
  
"It's the patient, he's having a nightmare and he won't let me near him."   
  
Rill nodded and approached the curtained off section where Zero's bed was. As she grabbed the curtain, G.O.A. shook. Red lights lit the room as alarms went off. "Shit, he's having an EX reaction!" Rill yelled. "Get a tranquilizer!"   
  
"Yes ma'am!" Yukine scurried off to do as she was told.   
  
Rill tore the curtain back and looked to where Zero was half crouched on the bed, his hair glowing as his blank eyes stared at her in terror.   
  
"Zero! Zero it's me, Dr. Rill. Please calm down and wake up Zero." Rill approached the candidate cautiously.   
  
"No! Get away from me!" Zero cried, shifting back from her.   
  
"Zero, you need to wake up. You're putting everybody in danger." Rill kept inching forward.   
  
"Stay away!" There was a flash of light and Zero's scream echoed through the room long after he disappeared.   
  
~*~  
  
Hiead had finally managed to escape from his pursuers. Rather than ducking into an observation room as he usually did, he slipped into the Relaxation Room. He was sitting, staring up at the artificial blue of the "sky" overhead. A cool breeze rustled through the leaves of the trees and he relaxed for a moment. The next minute he was completely alert, all his muscled tense as his eyes darted around the room. The alarms were going off all over G.O.A. His mind was screaming panic and danger. Before he had time to react, he found himself with a lapful of hysterical Zero. Zero's hair was glowing with EX. His eyes were wild and unseeing, but amazingly enough, as soon as he settled into Hiead's chest, he seemed to calm down.   
  
"Zero?" Hiead pushed the boy back slightly to look at his face.   
  
Zero blinked, as if waking up from a deep sleep. "Hiead?" His voice was quiet, almost as quiet as the false breezes that were ruffling his now brown hair.   
  
"What's wrong Zero?"   
  
"I had a nightmare," Zero looked down and began to fiddle with the edge of Hiead's shirt.   
  
Knowing it was important to not push the boy away, Hiead let him continue tugging at his shirt. He nodded, encouraging the boy to keep talking. "I dreamed...I dreamed that he got out, and this time you weren't there to save me. Nobody saved me and I went on forever. Nobody saved me. Nobody." Zero's voice broke and Hiead watched large tears slip down Zero's face as he began to tremble.   
  
Hiead was fully aware of how delicate the situation was. If he reacted wrong, he could set Zero's EX raging again, or worse yet, he could shatter the boy completely. Using the same caution he'd use while handling delicate glass, Hiead slowly reached out to Zero. When Zero didn't lash out at the gentle hands that Hiead slid around his waist, Hiead pulled the slighter boy into a firm hug. "I will save you Zero."   
  
Zero's arms wrapped tightly around Hiead, as if afraid the other boy would somehow fade away. He looked up, teary blue eyes meeting serious red. "Do you mean it?"   
  
Hiead stared into Zero's frightened lost eyes. Something was gone from them. Without it, Zero would never be whole. It was true that he and Zero were rivals, competing for the same prize, to be a Goddess Pilot, but what good was defeating a hollow broken shell? He wanted victory to have meaning, so he would help Zero find the spark that resided in his eyes.   
  
He would save Zero. He'd save him from the shadow of Azuma. He'd save him from the nightmares. He'd even save him from himself. But in saving Zero, he'd also leave him vulnerable, he would be completely vulnerable to Hiead. And in leaving Zero so open, he was afraid, that maybe he'd open a little of himself as well. Hiead realized the gravity of the situation, but as he sank into Zero's eyes, he let his caution slip. "Yes Zero. I mean it. I will save you every time."   
  
~*~ --- ~*~  
  
Yes, I will continue. Sorry, no teddybear Hiead in this one, we still gotta thaw him out, but wouldn't if be cute if somebody drew Hiead as a teddybear with chibi Zero glomping him? ^_^ Anyway, thanks for all your great feedback, it makes me really happy and making me happy makes me write more! Whee! 


	9. Remembrance

Remembrance   
By: Missfortune   
Disclaimer: I don't own the series, I mean, if I did you could see how the whole thing would go!   
Warnings: A/U, angst, abuse, hints of rape   
Notes: Ok, I"m sorry this one took so long, but it's not focused on Zero or Hiead so more research went into it. That and I find it very intense, so you're forewarned. What follows could be considered semi-spoily, but since we're dealing with A/U aren't completely, it's up to you. And I must thank The Czarina and Kyoko from MKML for answering my dumb questions. Thanks ^_^   
  
~*~  
  
Rill strode into the detention area with a stormy frown upon her face. "What is the matter?" she asked the guard on duty.   
  
"It's Azuma. During the red alert he was screaming and whimpering, but when it was over he seemed fine, he went back to staring at the walls," the man reported.   
  
"I see," she nodded and walked over the observation window that looked in on Azuma's cell. He was staring blankly at the back wall, rocking almost imperceptibly as his lips moved in a litany of undecipherable words. Rill put her hand up on the cold barrier between them and sighed. "What happened to you?" she whispered, letting her fingers trace the outline of his profile.   
  
~*~  
  
"Are you even listening to me Hijikata?" Rill demanded, knocking her pilot candidate on the side of the head with her fist.   
  
Hijikata blinked. "Yes sir," he automatically responded.   
  
"Ji-Kun," Rill groaned, "Pull your head out of space and come back down to G.O.A. You need to know this information for the test tomorrow. What's eating you?"   
  
"Aww Rill, you know studyin' ain't my thing." Hijikata shot her one of his infamous devil may care grins.   
  
Rill frowned. "You've been so distracted lately. At this rate you'll never pass your exams and become a pilot."   
  
That got his attention. His face turned serious. "I will be a pilot Rill. Nothing is going to stop me. Nothing at all."   
  
"Great enthusiasm," someone behind Hijikata laughed. He turned to see his roommate, Cain standing behind him. Cain was a year older than him, but they were in the same class as candidates. Cain grabbed Hijikata's head and gave him a bruising round of noogies.   
  
"Ah! Cain. Itai! Damn it! Stop!" Hijikata struggled in the grasp of his roommate.   
  
Rill laughed at the pair as they ended up wrestling on the floor, Cain coming out on top with the slighter Hijikata pinned neatly beneath him. "You guys, that's it, I promised to meet the girls. I spent too much time watching Hijikata stare into space. Hijikata, I expect you to study, got it?" Rill looked down at her partner.   
  
"Got it," he squawked.   
  
"Good. See you later, make sure he studies Cain!" Rill said as she left the room.   
  
"Sure thing Rill," Cain said to the retreating girl's back. As soon as she was gone, he looked back down at Hijikata, who had stilled beneath him. "Tsk tsk, Ji-Chan, how will you ever become a pilot of you don't do your lessons?" Cain asked running a finger down the side of Hijikata's cheek.   
  
"I'm doing my lessons," Hijikata replied, swallowing tightly.   
  
"It looks like you're a little lacking in your dedication. Perhaps you need a little reminder? Is that what you want. No problem, can't have our best candidate loosing his dedication can we now?"   
  
By now, Hijikata's eyes had widened as he stared up at his roommate. "C-C-Cain!" he stuttered   
  
"Shhh." Cain pressed a finger over Hijikata's lips. "Lessons Hijikata, it is time for lessons. Today I'm going to teach you a little discipline. Every Goddess Pilot needs discipline. You want to be a Goddess Pilot don't you Ji-Chan?"   
  
Hijikata nodded soundlessly, chewing nervously on his lip. Cain, though nice when around others, could be completely unpredictable when they were alone. Cain stroked Hijikata's hair softly as he moved back and sat on his haunches. Standing up he offered a hand to Hijikata, who hesitantly took it. Cain pulled the smaller boy to his feet and into his arms. Resting a hand possessively on his lower back he used his other hand to tip Hijikata's chin up where he fiercely claimed his lips.   
  
Cain backed up until he was at the closest bed, where he sat down, pulling Hijikata onto his lap. Hijikata was struggling for fresh air when Cain pulled back. Cain brushed a few errant strands of brown hair from Hijikata's eyes as he leaned in to his face. "Discipline Ji-Chan." He whispered into his ear.   
  
Hijikata was momentarily disoriented as Cain swiftly maneuvered him till he was lying on his stomach across the taller boy's lap. Cain roughly pulled at Hijikata's shorts. Alarmed, he began to struggle to get away. A loud smack to his bared buttocks stopped him in his tracks. "Discipline Hijikata. Pilots need discipline and I'm going to make you a pilot." The statement was followed by another hard slap. Hijikata winced and bit back a whimper. Another slap followed, and another until Hijikata couldn't help but whine softly as he squirmed in Cain's lap, trying to escape the punishment.   
  
Hijikata couldn't be sure how long the sound of a harsh hand hitting his skin filled the room, but he barely noticed when it stopped. It wasn't until he was hauled up face to face with Cain that he snapped out of his pained haze. His bottom was burning and the material of Cain's shorts was abrasive against the sensitive skin. Cain captured Hijikata's face between his hands and proceeded to steal his uneven breath away. He felt as if he was being eaten alive as Cain's hungry mouth worked against his fiercely.   
  
Hijikata cried out in pain as Cain grabbed a hand full of his sore rear to pull him closer. Tears blurred his eyes and there was a feeling of vertigo as the room spun around him. When his eyes cleared, he was looking at the steel gray ceiling of their room. Then Cain's face eclipsed his vision, blocking out the light as his heaving body settled on top of Hijikata. Hijikata shut his eyes tight, focusing on one thing. He would be a Goddess Pilot, no matter what.   
  
~*~  
  
"Cain! What did you do to him?" Rill's voice startled Cain from his concentrated study of the data pad in front of him.   
  
"What?"   
  
"Look at Ji-Kun. He's so focused. It's amazing! If I didn't know better I'd say I wasn't even looking at the same person." Rill waved over to the other side of the study hall where Hijikata was staring intensely at his own data pad.   
  
"Nothing really Rill, we just worked on his discipline." Cain shrugged with a big grin as he caught the minute twitch of Hijikata's shoulder from across the room.   
  
"What's your secret? I'd sure like to know, if only I could get him to study that well."   
  
"Can't tell ya Rill, then it wouldn't be a secret any more huh?" Cain winked.   
  
Rill pouted. "Cain," she protested leaning closer to the candidate.   
  
At that moment, a chair scraped loudly across the floor as Hijikata stood up, collected his pad and slipped out of the room. Rill stared after him, wondering what his sudden departure was about. Maybe he was jealous that she was flirting with Cain.   
  
"I'll go see about him," Cain offered, also standing up.   
  
"Don't forget, the test is in an hour!" Rill called after him as he walked from the room.   
  
It took a few minutes, but Cain eventually found Hijikata. He knew all of the other boy's hangouts. He was currently haunting his favorite one, an observatory that looked out onto the small green and blue pearl that was Zion. Hijikata sat huddled in front of the large windows, his hands down between his knees watching the butt of a cigarette burn between his fingers, dropping its ashes down onto his shoes. Cain walked into the middle of the room and watched as Hijikata deliberately lifted the smoldering butt to his lips and took a long drag.   
  
Cain snorted. "What have I told you about those things? It's a filthy habit." Hijikata didn't reply. He just continued to stare off at Zion as his hand fell limply back between his legs, dropping more ashes into the small pile on the toe of his shoe. Cain stepped forward and took the remains of the cigarette between his fingers.   
  
"Hand," he instructed. Hijikata lifted his hand palm up and Cain captured it in his own. He ground out the glowing butt in the center of Hijikata's palm, grinning at the hiss and wince before dropping the shreds of paper, ash and tobacco to the ground. Cain let Hijikata's hand fall back and instead he captured his face, staring deep into his brown eyes.   
  
"It's your own fault you know. If you weren't so weak, I wouldn't have to do this to make you better. There's something you lack, but I give it to you. Do you know why? Because you will be a pilot. But we can't have just anybody as a pilot. Zion depends on you. You're gifted, but you need discipline. Do you understand me?" Cain's thumb stroked Hijikata's cheek, moving down to run across his trembling bottom lip.   
  
Without warning Cain slammed Hijikata's head into the glass. "Look at it!" he instructed. "Look out there. That one little ball. That is what you must save. That is what you work for. I will make you the best. I will make sure that it survives through you." Cain pulled Hijikata up and smashed his lips against he smaller boy's. He captured the soft bottom lip between his teeth and bit it, almost tearing through the delicate tissues. A hand wandered up into Hijikata's uniform, but before Cain could trespass further, an alarm went off.   
  
"Attention. Victim is heading towards Zion. Candidates, please report to your head instructor for further instructions."   
  
Cain let Hijikata go. Unprepared, he fell bonelessly to the ground. "Get up Ji-Chan. It's time to go defend Zion."   
  
~*~  
  
Hijikata watched intently, seeing victim far in front of him where they met the Goddesses. Tiny blasts were shooting at dot-like Victim and exploding in small starbursts. From far away, it was almost beautiful. Sitting in space he was almost at peace. He could almost forget about his problems. What were his problems but tiny specks in the expanse of space? They were there to protect a planet, letting nothing else distract them from that mission. His mind was drawn back to the fight by an exceptionally large blast. That wasn't supposed to happen.   
  
"Rill, what's going on over there?"   
  
"The battle is tough. They're not telling us much. Be ready though, anything could happen."   
  
Hijikata nodded, bringing his focus back to the battle in front of him. He had a bad feeling about this fight.   
  
"Candidate 19, Azuma Hijikata." Hijikata jumped at this new voice in his cockpit.   
  
"Reporting sir." He replied swiftly.   
  
"Congratulations Candidate you have been promoted to Pilot, please return to G.O.A. immediately for transfer."   
  
"W-what? But what about the other-"   
  
"This is a direct order. A pilot is needed. Now return to base immediately."   
  
"Yes sir." Ajikata quickly maneuvered his Pro-Ing back towards G.O.A.   
  
Cain's voice crackled over to him. "Ajikata, you're breaking formation. What are you doing?"   
  
"I've been called." He responded before breaking their connection. "I've been called," he repeated in a whisper. "I'm free..." No sooner had the words left his mouth then his Pro-Ing was rocked with a blast. Turning swiftly, he watched as a group of Victim converged on the group of candidates he'd just left. His response was immediate, firing into the group, quickly hitting the attacking creatures. The battle was swift as the upper candidates quickly took down the enemy.   
  
There was just one problem, the largest Victim and probable leader, had broken away from the group, singling in on one candidate. Cain. Ajikata froze, eyes intent on the battle between the two. From the corner of his eye he saw the four able Goddesses approaching, but he knew they'd be too late. Rill was yelling in his ear, but she was drowned out by the sound of blood rushing to his head, beating in his temples, behind his eyes as he watched.   
  
Slowly his instincts took over, moving him forward, but in that same instant the Victim claimed victory. He felt the Pro-Ing explode more than he saw it. He just knew that it was gone, taking Cain with it. Cain who tormented him, pushed him and who in some twisted way, had loved him. Cain...was gone. Ajikata's eyes followed the pieces of the Pro-Ing as it exploded outward, almost imagining Cain's face staring back at him through a cracked piece of glass.   
  
His eyes flicked up to stare at the Victim, who had no care of what it had just destroyed, it merely kept it's mindless course for Zion. In that moment, that one moment, he loved that Victim, that creature that shared a name with his condition. Victim, one who is subjected to oppression, hardship or mistreatment. One, who is injured, destroyed or sacrificed under any various conditions. In that moment they were one. That's when he raised his gun, aiming carefully and firing. He watched emotionlessly as the Victim was hit, exploded and died.   
  
~*~  
  
To be Continued...   
  
I looooove feedback and make no shame of the fact ^_^ Thank you lots and lots, for I actually think that of everything I've ever written this fic alone has gotten the most feedback so I must really thank you all for that. 


	10. Haunted

Haunted   
  
By: Missfortune   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the series, if I did you might see Hiead in a teddy bear suit! *winks*  
  
Warnings: A/U, references to not nice things, Angst, and OOC due to the situations.   
  
Notes: Waaaaah! I'm soooo sorry it took me so long to update this! I was so stuck I kept trying to start up from directly after the battle with Victim, but it wasn't working. I tried a different angle and bam, it worked. Anyway, hopefully there won't be any more long interuptions like that again! Hope somebody's still reading!   
  
~*~  
  
Azuma stared out at the star field beyond the viewing window. It had been a month since he'd become a Goddess pilot. A month since he'd been freed from Cain. A month during which things had been better, but worse. He looked down at the small ring shaped burn in the palm of his hand. He clenched his fist and pressed it against his forehead. Why did he feel this way? Cain was gone. It was good that he was gone. He could no longer torture him, beat him, taunt him, or hurt him. It was good that he was gone! So why did he feel so unsettled without him?   
  
He shivered as he imagined Cain walking up behind him and wrapping his arms around his waist like he normally did. It was wrong to miss him. After what Cain had done to him, everything that he'd gone through at the other boy's hands, it was wrong! But he couldn't stop himself from imagining Cain there, watching him. He felt those eyes on him, burning into his skin but leaving no scar, no evidence that they were there. Cain was gone, yet he wasn't. Azuma felt a weight on his shoulders where there should be none. Cain was gone! But he still carried the weight of his secrets, of Cain's true nature. He would never escape.   
  
"That's right Ji-Chan. You're mine. I'll always be with you."   
  
Azuma spun around but found nothing. "Who's there?" He demanded angrily. How dare someone play such a trick on him? Pretending that they were Cain.   
  
"I'm here Ji-Chan. I'll always be here." Cain's voice purred before filling his ears with laughter.   
  
Azuma's eyes grew wide. He put his hands over his ears and ran from the room, horrified when the sound followed him.   
  
"You're mine Ji-Chan! I'll never let you go!"   
  
"No!" Azuma yelled as he ran down the hall. "Get out of my head!" He had to be going insane. That was the only answer. He was loosing his mind. Cain could not come back from the dead. He wasn't haunting him. He was dead. Dead!   
  
"Of course I'm dead, but I can't leave my little Ji-Chan."   
  
"No! Leave me the hell alone! Die already! Just die!" Azuma screamed. He wasn't sure where he was running. Where could he escape a ghost? Could he outrun him? He had to get away! His feet carried him down to the hanger. One of the other Repairers was sitting with the Ingrids as Azuma ran in like a bat out of hell. She watched in shock as Azuma ran and flung himself into his Goddess. That wasn't a good sign. Not good at all. She ran to find Rill.   
  
Azuma sank into the gentle embrace of his Goddess. It was like being wrapped in a warm blanket and given a gentle hug. He sobbed as he curled up into a ball. Eeva Leena tried to soothe him. She wrapped her ghostly arms around him and rocked him gently. Her voice was a comforting murmur in his ear replacing the horrifying echo of Cain's voice. In here he was safe. She would always protect him. He was safe. He sobbed his pain into her belly as she rocked him into a fitful sleep.   
  
~*~  
  
Azuma slouched against the wall, waiting for his next batch of fresh-faced pilot candidates. Would there be any pilots in this batch? There were a few promising kids in the last one, but then you could never really tell, sometimes they just couldn't handle it. He was getting a little bored with the same old routine. Maybe there'd be a challenge in the next batch of boys. He could only take so many goodie goodie kids. Maybe he'd get someone to whip into shape, give him the pleasure of helping some off track go-nowhere boy turn into something great.   
  
He threw the butt of his cigarette to the ground. He'd get fined for it. He always did, one credit per butt that got picked up. He was always getting yelled at. Why can't you throw them away? Why bother? Someone would pick them up, that's what they were paid for. That answer always got him a roll of the eyes from whatever commanding officer was reaming him out. They couldn't do much about him. He was after all the top Goddess pilot instructor and the best they had. What would they do, take away his cigarettes? Without them he was sure he'd go mad. That cool taste of menthol and nicotine always calmed him down. It was the only reason he could be as easy going as he was with all the stress around him.   
  
He had just stuck another cigarette in his mouth as the doors in front of him. He casually lit up and took in his first big lungful. Savoring the cool burning in his throat he looked up and exhaled. A short purple haired kid strode out with a chubby boy clinging to his arm. The short one was trying to look cool and confident, but he was having a little trouble with the other one clinging so tightly. A silver haired boy followed, he had a mysterious and dangerous feeling about him. He'd definitely be one to watch out for. A gangly boy with glasses was next into the room. He pushed the glasses up on his nose and looked around inquisitively. He would be a brainy one for sure, not a pilot but probably an excellent strategist.   
  
The last boy out the door was yawning and scratching his messy hair as he walked in. As bright purple eyes looked around, he seemed to twitch as if his compact body held too much energy for the small room. Azuma's breath caught in his throat. The boy reminded him so much of himself when he first started. This one would definitely be a pilot. He could see the incredible drive already; nothing would stand in his way. A smile pulled at his lips as he took another drag from his cigarette and let it out in the boys' direction.   
  
"Welcome to G.O.A."   
  
~*~  
  
That night Azuma lay back in his bunk. He had gotten his wish. He could tell that this batch of candidates would be a handful, especially Zero and Hiead. Those two were already at each other's throats. Yes, there was definitely a challenge in front of him.   
  
"How about that Zero?"   
  
Azuma started. He sat up and looked around, his heart hammering wildly. It couldn't be!   
  
"Ji-Chan, are you listening to me?"   
  
"No."   
  
"Ji-Chan, we have work to do. That little Zero, he needs our loving touch."   
  
"God dammit! Leave me alone Cain!" Azuma yelled.   
  
"You know I can't. I have to help you. Little Ji-Chan can't handle this all on his own. I'm here to help you. I'll always be here for you."   
  
"Don't do it Cain! They're just kids. They're just kids! Don't do this again." Azuma hissed, wishing that he could see Cain's face, just so he could punch the smug bastard.   
  
"I'm hurt. You don't want my help." Cain's voice said in mock pain.   
  
"I told you last time. Stay the hell out of my life you bastard!" Azuma ground out, glaring at the wall.   
  
"You should have listened to me Ji-Chan, that Gareas, he's going to break. He didn't have the care he needed. You should have listened to me."   
  
"He's better off without your help! They all are! I'm better off without you! Go away!"   
  
"Are you really Ji-Chan? Are you really?" The voice faded out, but the words lingered in Azuma's head. He was better off. He was! He stared at the faded scar in the palm of his hand. It wouldn't go away, it was a constant reminder, just like Cain's voice in his head. It would always haunt him. Would he ever really be free?   
  
~*~  
  
Hmm, I hope my Goddess skills aren't rusty! Was that good enough? You want more? Let me know! ^_^ 


	11. Possession

Possession   
  
By: Missfortune   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the series, if I did you might see Hiead in a teddy bear suit! *winks*   
  
Warnings: A/U, references to not nice things, Angst, and OOC due to the situations. Bad potty mouth language ^_^*   
  
Notes: Look, Azuma's not such a bad guy...really!   
  
~*~  
  
"Such an impudent child. Won't you teach him a lesson?" Cain's voice whispered in Azuma's head.   
  
"Fuck off." Azuma replied silently, venom dripping from his voice. He tried to concentrate on watching the candidates run around the track. Zero was running backwards as he chattered excitedly about the lessons they were going to have later that day. He looked so bright and happy, Azuma wouldn't let Cain take that from him. He wouldn't let anyone else face what he'd gone through.   
  
It had taken him years to get over Cain. At first he had missed him. He wasn't sure why, he just did. It seemed that the time that he'd spent under Cain's not so gentle tutelage had really messed up his head. His time as a pilot hat helped to straighten him out. Eeva Leena had listened to his woes and gently guided him through the painful memories, assuring him that it wasn't his fault and he shouldn't feel guilty for Cain's crimes. Later on, his time as an instructor helped to smooth things over. His work with all the candidates was fulfilling and he was content with his life, having put Cain far far behind him.   
  
Just when he thought that he could relax, he was on high alert once more. It had only started recently, when Gareas became a candidate. The young green haired boy was so much like himself in many ways. It was then that Cain's voice started whispering in his head. He said such awful things; everyday it had been a battle to fight off his words. He couldn't cover his ears because Cain's voice was inside his head, taunting him, pushing him. Every day he fought back, but he could only do so much. He could only take so much.   
  
"That's right Ji-Chan. I'm stronger than you. I was always stronger than you. That's why you needed me. You needed me to teach you. You still need me now. I'll always be with you." Cain's voice purred like poisoned honey.   
  
"I don't need you! I never needed you! Leave me alone! Stop haunting me! Stop!" Azuma yelled at the specter of his torturer.   
  
"You'll never be rid of me Ji-Chan." Cain replied as Azuma shivered as though ghostly hands were traveling over his thighs. Then the voice was gone and Azuma was left with only the thundering silence and lingering bitterness.   
  
~*~  
  
Azuma was in the middle of explaining a complicated maneuver to the candidates when the alarms went off. He frowned and put down his data pad. "Alright, you guys go to the infirmary," he ordered.   
  
Zero whined. "Do we have to? Can't we stay somewhere and watch?"   
  
"No! You'll just get into trouble. Go to the infirmary now." Azuma pointed to the door. "I have to get to the bridge, but don't think I won't find out if you're not there."   
  
Zero withered under his glare and unenthusiastically followed the others as they filed out of the room lit with the flashing red lights of the warning alarms. Azuma nodded as he watched them head off in the correct direction before jogging to the control deck to look into the situation. He arrived to a flurry of activity with people scurrying over the decks while others were glued to monitors, watching the battle with Victim.   
  
He stood in the back out of the way of those working as he watched the Goddesses weave in and out of complicated patterns that he had taught many of them not long ago. He watched Eeva Leena dance gracefully through space and felt a deep longing for the sense of peace that she had brought him. He needed that now, now that Cain was haunting him once more. His eyes followed the battle. He caught the single Victim that escaped. He stepped forward and tapped the shoulder of a man at a monitor. He was another instructor that was giving instructions to some of the other candidates that had been sent out into space to watch and act as cleanup crews. He nodded as Azuma fed him instructions for the candidates.   
  
They watched the upper level candidates move into formation and begin firing at the creature. Several of them hit the Victim right on, but it didn't stop the monster from coming. G.O.A.'s proximity alerts began clanging wildly as it got closer and closer. The candidates were ordered out of the way as G.O.A.'s main weapons array was targeted onto the rogue Victim. G.O.A. fired and the creature exploded, but it was so close that the shock waves rocked the ship. Azuma pitched forward, his head slamming into a console. The world tilted, screens and people and Goddesses slipping as he fell to the floor swallowed in a starless sea of black.   
  
~*~  
  
Cain awoke in the infirmary. For the first time in decades he had real solid eyelids to open. A smirk curled his lips as he slowly sat up, ignoring the slight throbbing that resounded in his head. That was something he hadn't missed, pain. But it felt so good to be back in a body he really didn't care, it could be ignored. It had everything to do with discipline. You used discipline to overcome your weaknesses. He looked around the white room and noticed a blonde at a desk working silently with her head down.   
  
"Rill." Azuma's voice came huskily from his throat. It was Azuma's body after all.   
  
Rill's head shot up. "Hijikata! You scared me." She got up and walked over. "What did you think you were doing throwing yourself around on deck like that? Stupid. Are you feeling better now?"   
  
Azuma grinned. She hadn't changed at all. "I feel fine."   
  
"But your head." She reached out to touch the bandages.   
  
"I'm fine." He replied swiping her hand away.   
  
She frowned. "All right then. But if you feel dizzy, you'd better come right back here."   
  
"Yeah. I will. But now, I have things to take care of," he said getting up off the small infirmary bed. Rill watched with a frown as Azuma left. For some reason he didn't seem like himself. But then he had hit his head pretty hard. She only hoped that he was really okay and wasn't lying to her.   
  
Cain walked down the familiar halls of G.O.A. with a smirk firmly affixed to his face. It didn't take him long to find who he was looking for as the sounds of yelling drew him into one of the observation decks where Zero and Hiead were fighting.   
  
"88! 87! That is enough!" He stepped between the two boys tearing them apart and holding each by the scruff of their shirts. Zero struggled in his grasp but Hiead went limp, though his blood red eyes were smoldering with silent fury. "You will both report to detention at 0800 tonight for laps. As for you 88, I want to see you in my office right now."   
  
"But he started it!" Zero protested.   
  
"None of that." Cain said in a steely voice that brooked no arguments. "In my office, now."   
  
"Yessir." Zero mumbled, looking down at his feet. He shot a dirty look at Hiead as he trudged out of the room following their instructor.   
  
They marched silently down the hall until they reached Azuma's offices. The door slid open and Cain ushered Zero in, discreetly locking the door behind him. Cain moved to sit in Azuma's chair and looked at the boy standing sullenly before the desk.   
  
"Come here," he beckoned.   
  
Zero shuffled behind the desk and stood nervously before him. Cain put a strong hand on his shoulder and used the other hand to force the boy's head up, staring him down. "Now Zero, today I will teach you discipline."   
  
~*~  
  
Look! I worked on it! Did you like? Do you still hate poor Azuma? Tell me ^_^ I love feedback. 


	12. Linger

Linger   
  
By: Missfortune   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the series, I mean, if I did you could see how the whole thing would go!   
  
Warnings: A/U, references to not non-con and abuse, Angst, and OOC due to the situations.   
  
Notes: Again I apologize for the length of time it took to churn out this chapter. But hopefully the results are satisfactory. I wasn't sure about the characterization...but they are under quite some stress so...let's hope it fits. Anyway, to whoever was whining for more Zero and Hiead, hush, they're back now ok.   
  
~*~  
  
"Now Zero, today I will teach you discipline."   
  
Zero shot up as the words echoed through his head. He panted heavily as he looked around for any sign of Azuma. The only person with him was Hiead, who was staring at him with those curious red eyes of his.   
  
"Nightmare?"   
  
Zero nodded and shivered, trying to block out the waves of memory. That had been the first time. He'd fought. He'd fought so hard, but he was no match for a full-grown man. Azuma had used him. After beating him around for disobedience he'd bent him across the desk and taken his innocence. Afterwards he'd escorted Zero to the infirmary and blamed all of the obvious injuries on Hiead. That night he'd barely managed to run his punishment laps, but Azuma's hard gaze boring into his back pushed him on.   
  
"Zero?"   
  
Zero looked up. Hiead was leaning towards him. Come to think of it, Hiead was awfully close. So close they were pressed together. Zero blinked. He was in Hiead's lap. How had that happened?   
  
"Zero!"   
  
"What?" Zero's head snapped up to stare at Hiead.   
  
"I asked if you were all right. You keep spacing out."   
  
"Sorry," he mumbled trying to nonchalantly untangle himself from the other boy, without success.   
  
"We've been here for a while. Dinner is soon. But you weren't really cleared from the infirmary."   
  
Zero blinked. "What do you mean?" What did he mean? How did he get here and in this position?   
  
"You had an EX reaction. Probably to a nightmare. I was sitting here and there you were, right in my lap."   
  
Zero blushed a deep red, turning away from Hiead's gaze. Hiead was his enemy, why was he feeling all fuzzy suddenly? Why was he running to Hiead for help? He was showing him all of his weaknesses. He couldn't do that, it would come back to haunt him, he was sure of it.   
  
"Maybe I should bring you back to the infirmary."   
  
"No!" Zero looked up. "I don't want to go back there!"   
  
Hiead raised an eyebrow and looked down at him. Zero fought back a blush. He felt like a small child under Hiead's gaze. The other boy's red eyes were boring into him and taking notes on what they found. It was unsettling. It was dangerous...so why wasn't he moving? Why was he trusting himself to Hiead?   
  
"We should go back at least to get you released. Then we can go to dinner and your friends will stop hounding me."   
  
Zero blinked. "Why are they hounding you?"   
  
"Because I saved you. I was the only one that they could weasel information out of. Why else?"   
  
Yes, why else? Zero felt lost. He was having strange EX reactions and ending up in, of all places, Hiead's lap and his friends were hounding the red eyed boy to pump him for information....what was the world coming to? He put a hand to his head as he felt a throb behind his eyes.   
  
"Are you all right?"   
  
"No." Zero snapped back. "No, I don't think I am." He shoved himself out of Hiead's lap and turned away, wrapping his arms around himself. He could feel Hiead's eyes boring into the back of his head, but at this point he didn't care. "Leave me alone."   
  
"I don't think that's such a good idea." Hiead stated flatly.   
  
"Who cares what you think? Just leave me alone! I don't need you. I don't need anybody." Zero yelled, not turning. For a moment there was silence, then a low chuckle. Zero turned and glared at Hiead. "You're laughing at me!"   
  
Hiead looked at the boy in front of him, a degrading smile on his lips. "Of course I am. You're acting like a child. You don't need anybody? Since when? You're just going to stop trusting people? Is that it? You were hurt and now you're going to close everybody off?"   
  
"Close everybody off..." Zero echoed softly.   
  
"Yes, close everybody off. You're trying to do it. In your way you're trying."   
  
"I'm not.."   
  
"Yes you are. I already told you Zero. I will save you. Every time." Hiead's eyes drilled into Zero's skull leaving the impression of red eyes seared into his brain.   
  
"I....Why? Why would you do that? You hate me! Why are you saving me? Why won't you leave me alone?!"   
  
"Because, that's not really what you want. What you need."   
  
"How would you know what I need? All you ever do is make my life harder and then you think you know what I need?" Zero lashed out.   
  
Hiead didn't even blink. "I do. The only reason I make your life harder is because I have a goal and between that goal and me there is only you. And I know what you need because I have dealt with it before. There was life before G.O.A. and mine involved saving people like you. From the world, from themselves, from everything."   
  
Zero stared at the red-eyed boy. Of all the candidates in his group, Hiead was always the most mysterious. He was quiet and calculating and the perfect rival. But he never spoke about anything, not really, aside from what was necessary. "But why? Why would you do that?"   
  
Hiead shrugged. "Somebody has to, it might as well be me. Would you really ask one of your friends to do it? To watch you cry and breakdown when the memories come back to haunt you? Do you want them to think less of you? It might as well be me, I can't think much less of you." Hiead smirked, even though he knew he'd just made a mistake in his handling of the other boy.   
  
Zero growled. "You jerk!" For a minute there he had almost been taken in. For just a second he'd thought that Hiead was being honest and offering him something like friendship, to comfort him when he needed. But now he knew. It was just another scheme to get one up on him. "Don't play with me like that! Why would I need you screwing with my head anyway? Aren't I screwed up enough? Huh?! Isn't that what you think? There's poor stupid Zero. He's afraid of space. He lets the instructors beat him and use him. Then when they get tired they launch him into space in a funeral pod. Used! I'm used! Dirty and filthy and dumb! Don't pretend you care! Don't even pretend! Just hate me and leave me alone!" Zero yelled as tears began to roll down his cheeks.   
  
Zero's breathing hitched and suddenly he felt the familiar vertigo of space. It was closing in around him and he couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't scream. Where Hiead had sat in front of him, now was a smooth metal wall. He was back in the pod! He looked wildly at the tiny view port. G.O.A. and the small round pearl of Zion were moving away from him. They were so small and he reached for them. He reached and tore at the glass as they faded and all around him was stars. They went on forever and there was nobody there to save him. There was nobody there. No! Not again! No! He wheezed, reaching out to the cold stars. "Somebody save me!"   
  
Warm arms wrapped around him and Zero struggled. "No!" He cried. "Please don't. Don't hurt me again. Please!"   
  
"Zero. I don't hate you. I'll save you." A voice whispered in his ear. "Let me save you."   
  
The walls he was enclosed in faded away, leaving the green vibrant colors of the relaxation room. Zero sagged in the arms that held him. He felt himself being shifted and his face was pressed into a strong shoulder. He could smell Hiead. He could feel the other boy's heart beating a strong pulse just under his skin. Was it safe to trust him? Did he have a choice? All he needed was a shoulder and Hiead offered him that. Unable to hold it all back any longer he accepted, pouring his grief out on Hiead's shoulder as he clung to the other boy.   
  
Hiead sighed as he rubbed Zero's back. What had he gotten himself into? What had he promised Zero? He promised him shelter and safety, but he was having trouble lowering his own defenses to help. He had stupidly triggered a panic attack in the boy. Was he really someone that could help Zero? Could he hold back the lingering memories that haunted the boy? All he could say for sure was that he was not a quitter. He would try. He would hold Zero up so that when they finally became top-level candidates, the best of them would win. He had made a promise and he was going to keep it he pledged as he rocked the smaller boy in his arms.   
  
~*~  
  
To Be Continued as usual...how many months it will take this time I can't say, hopefully not terribly long, but then I say that every time. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it and please leave feedback because that always encourages me. Thanks for reading! 


	13. Replacement

**Disclaimer**: They are not mine.  
**Warnings**: A/U  
**Notes**: I think that anybody who was waiting for this chapter is **dead** now. I am **so sorry**!

* * *

Colonel Tezuka looked up as his door chimed and slid open. "Ah, Mr. Curoe. I am glad that you could make it on such short notice." 

Ernest Curoe nodded. "I was surprised by your call, but of course I would be happy to fill the position."

Tezuka smiled and motioned for the young man to take a seat. Ernest Curoe was a top-notch former pilot. Unfortunately, his last flight with his Goddess had left him badly damaged. The blonde walked with a slight limp, a lingering wound that would not heal properly despite the medical team's best efforts. He hid the extent of the damage well, but Tezuka knew that Ernest still had lingering pain as he executed tasks as simple as walking across the room.

"Thank you," Ernest returned his smile polite as he gracefully took the seat. "You mentioned that you did not wish to discuss recent events over the comm. Would you like to bring me up to speed now that we are face to face?"

Tezuka nodded solemnly. "We have had some problems with one of the instructors. Azuma to be exact."

"What about Azuma?" Ernest peered at the Colonel curiously.

"He was abusing one of the candidates."

Ernest's blue eyes widened in shock. "Which one?"

"Candidate 88. Zero Enna."

Ernest frowned. Zero was one of his brother's best friends. He'd heard Erts talk all about the fiery boy who was afraid of nothing. Well, he was afraid of space, but he wasn't afraid of the touch of a psychic as most people were. That was the reason he and Erts had become such fast friends in such a short time, Zero had no inhibitions or secrets that made him shy away from Erts and his powers. Though Ernest had never really sat down with the boy, he had met him in passing and thought highly him. He sounded a lot like Gareas and that only raised Ernest's estimation of the boy.

"How did this happen? What exactly took place?" Ernest's voice was firm as he made it his mission to seek out the answers to these questions and try to fix them as well as he was able.

"It appears that Azuma was "disciplining" Zero to make him into a better pilot. The abuse was physical, mental, and of a sexual nature."

"Sexual? He didn't..."

"I'm afraid so." Tezuka sighed.

"How could this happen?"

"We are not sure, we are hoping that your presence might also allow us some insight."

"I shall do my best sir," Ernest said firmly.

* * *

"Eat up Zero!" Kizna demanded glaring at Zero's full plate.

"I'm just not hungry," Zero replied, not looking up from the single slice of toast he was crumbling.

"I know you have a bigger appetite than that Zero. Just go ahead and eat your eggs." She poked the pile of eggs with her fork.

"He said he's not hungry," Hiead growled at the cat-eared girl.

Kizna quickly drew her hand back across the table as if Hiead would bite if off. "Geez, what's your problem? I'm just trying to get my partner to eat. Unlike you, I care about my partner," she shot back.

"Kizna, I don't think you should fight," Ikhny said softly from her side.

"But Ikhny-"

"Hiead does things his own way," Ikhny replied. She looked up briefly to meet Hiead's eyes before lowering her head and returning her attention to her food.

Kizna snorted, but let it go. Zero succeeded in crumbling his toast into pieces too tiny to eat. He looked up, surprised, as Hiead slid his own toast onto Zero's plate. Hiead merely glanced over at him and slid a bite of eggs into his mouth. Zero could almost hear the unspoken command ringing in his ears. Eat. Zero stared at the browned toast with its yellow buttery center. He could feel Hiead's eyes on him as he brought the toast to his lips and nibbled at it. Hiead's eyes slid away and Zero took a few small sips of orange juice.

He knew that Kizna was staring, but he didn't look at her. Hiead seemed satisfied that he had eaten the piece of toast and left him alone as he finished his own breakfast. Yamagi and Roose held a loud conversation about something they'd heard from an older candidate, but for the most part, Zero ignored everything around him.

"C'mon Zero. Time for class." Kizna said as she stood and picked up her tray.

Zero nodded and mechanically followed her lead. He ignored the disapproving look of the cafeteria monitor as he dumped his full tray. He silently followed the other candidates, watching Yamagi and Roose's backs as they walked along. He was vaguely aware of Clay walking beside him and he could feel Hiead's eyes drilling into his back. They trooped into the classroom for the day and took seats. Zero hung back, waiting till the others were seated until he took a seat at the back of the room. The scrape of a chair on either side of him alerted him to the fact that Clay and Hiead were flanking him, settling on both sides. Clay smiled, but Hiead ignored his startled gaze.

Yamagi and Roose's conversation was the only thing that broke the silence of the room. Clay pulled out his data pad and started clicking away. Zero put his arms on the desk and buried his face in them. He sighed as he tried to relax. Sitting in the classroom was making him nervous. Classrooms were for lessons. Asuma's lessons had meant pain. Zero knew that he was making wild leaps by linking such things together, but he couldn't help his sudden fear of the classroom. It seemed to close in on him and he felt his breathing hitch dangerously. He shuddered as he clenched his fists. A comforting hand rested discreetly on Zero's hip and the boy looked up suddenly. He met Hiead's serious red eyes and felt himself slowly relax. They were both distracted as someone entered the room. Zero turned warily and blinked in shock.

"You're Ernest Curoe! Former pilot of Luhma Klein and Erts' older brother!" Clay said, pointing at the blonde man that walked slowly into the room.

Ernest smiled and nodded. "Yes, that's would be me Clay Cliff Fortran."

"Wow! What are you doing here?" Roose asked.

"I am your new instructor."

"Really? That's awesome!" Yamagi declared.

Ernest smiled gently. "I'm glad that you think so. I am happy to be here." The former pilot looked from the two boys in the front to the three settled in the back. He noted how Clay and Hiead had sat down, flanking Zero. He did not miss Hiead's piercing, hostile gaze. Ernest returned his gaze, radiating calm. He was not here to hurt, merely to help and the sooner everyone realized this, the better. Hiead's gaze calmed, but still remained alert and suspicious. Ernest was glad to see that Zero had found himself a protector during this trying time. He would need all the support that he could get.

Ernest turned to look at Zero. The boy was looking up at him with a mix of surprise, relief and fear. He could easily feel the confused swirl of emotions that rolled off of the boy, but for the moment he let it go. It wouldn't do to overwhelm him. He'd already been through so much. There would be plenty of time later on for questions and discreet inquiries. Now was not the time for confrontation, but the small comfort of routine. Ernest smiled at Zero as he put a small data pad on the desk.

"Now then, I have been informed that today we are to move straight into emergency navigation using star maps and gravity patterns. I hope you've studied, we may have a quiz." Yamagi groaned and Ernest noted how some of Zero's tension eased away. It was a small step, but any step in the right direction was a good one. "Now if you'll call up section 25 on your data pads, we can begin."

* * *

After this chapter, I make no promises that the story will continue. As you've noticed by my update record, I take**_forever_**. There could potentially be another chapter, or this could be the end. If you truly enjoyed this story and wish for more, let me know and I can put it on my priority list ok. Thank you for reading! 


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